We Got Sponsored!

Posted on April 9, 2009 by pumarubbernecker

Great news everyone! Our intrepid investigative reporting from yesterday got us noticed by the Obama White House Office of Trivial Online Affairs, headed by David Axelrod, and contributing editors will now be compensated for our effort. They said that they have been impressed with our work for a while now, and our efforts keeping the PUMAs at bay have been instrumental to them in getting their legislation passed.

So in return, bettycracker, Johnd, and I will now be paid a weekly stipend to suppress the PUMA threat. If any other blogstalkers are interested in getting paid, apparently they also pay for each comment you leave at a PUMA site. They said that even though most are moderated, keeping PUMAs busy searching the spam folder is how they slip legislation through without opposition. They pay per comment, and they pay double if the comment lasts more than thirty minutes. Also, they know exactly how much to pay you because they monitor and control the entire internet. Illegally, of course, but they’re putting a bill through congress right now to make it all nice and legal.

Oh, and don’t tell the PUMAs about our arrangement. They think there are only 400 paid bloggers, and if they found out that there are actually 372,294 of us, they would totally tell the media and then the jig would be up. So keep a lid on it. At least until 2011, when Operation Condor goes into effect, and we won’t need the media.

PS- Don’t tell anyone about Operation Condor either.

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14 Responses

  1. Tom65, on April 9, 2009 at 4:08 pm said:

    You too? Ha! The FEC would have a fit if they ever found out about this.

    Bought a new washing machine with the advance they sent last week. The wife sure is glad about that!

  2. pumarubbernecker, on April 9, 2009 at 4:12 pm said:

    You gave your wife a washing machine? Why? Do you only have 1 wife?

    I have 1 wife for laundry, 1 for cooking, 1 for cleaning, and 2 for miscellaneous jobs.

    Once I got them confused and I ate my underwear for dinner!

  3. pumarubbernecker, on April 9, 2009 at 4:13 pm said:

    Now I’m going to make some jokes about raping an underage girl to make her shut up.

    Then I can be as sexist AND as funny as myiq2xu!

  4. Jennyjinx, on April 9, 2009 at 9:43 pm said:

    I’m patiently waiting for my check so I can go join the, um, teabaggers in their teabagging celebration– with a new camera and a clipboard (just as a defense if they decide to get too close).

    Wonder if meatprod will be there? Teabagging J4H, maybe? Perhaps J4H will cut off his teabag when they’re finished? Do we have confirmation on this or not?

    O-Man better give us all a raise for this kind of suffering.

  5. pumarubbernecker, on April 9, 2009 at 10:16 pm said:

    Jenny, I actually will be attending my local teabagging next wednesday, camera in tow.

    I suspect that a significant portion of the attendence will be liberal gawkers like myself.

  6. HumboldtBlue, on April 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm said:

    I too will wander over to our local teabagging event and I’m going to follow the lead and suggestion from a Wonketteer and just aimlessly walk up to some poor sap, stop and glare and then yell at the top of my lungs …

    THAT GUY IS FROM ACORN!!!!

    and then quickly skedaddle.

  7. Steve, on April 10, 2009 at 4:44 pm said:

    I think that you got the numbers wrong of paid bloggers. At last check, according to google, the number would be around 19 million, the same amount that voted against Hillary Clinton.

    WAIT…We all know that it really is 12 of us that control the world and rule with Barack Hussein Obama. I am currently in Bahrain or some other oil rich middle eastern country denying rights to women. lol

  8. Hunger Tallest Palin, on April 11, 2009 at 1:32 pm said:

    You’re getting cash? Suckers! Soros pays me in slightly used virgins.

  9. PumaHunter, on April 12, 2009 at 12:07 am said:

    Awwwwwwwwwwww look. It’s Poor widdle Hillary (brainwashed of course, according to PUMAs) enjoying a ‘Play Date’ with the Mysoginist Illigitmate POTUS, and by the body language she must be drugged out of her mind and scared to death….or it could just be a meeting between two people who, after a long and bitter primary fight, have come to respect each other, are on the same page policy-wise and are striving for a common goal.

    http://www.theroot.com/blogs/browntable/exclusive-pic-clinton-and-obama-sandbox-again

    But WATCH OUT HILLARY!!!! JEN4HILL has ‘PROMISED’ the other Puddytats that she “WILL MEET UP WITH YOU’ and when she does she “WILL GET HER ANSWERS” as to why you are supporting her. By sitting on you.

  10. Linnet, on April 12, 2009 at 11:16 am said:

    How Christian of you, Ladyhawkke. Happy Easter.

    ladyhawkke 04.12.09 at 10:57 am
    #8 DWP Yet as the UK failed to arrest and hold him, he was on his way to the Obama inauguration. How many damn Obamas do we have to put up with? His aunt is still here and I know they will never deport her. And now we have this pedophile. He and his whole family are so ghetto.

  11. JasonM, on April 13, 2009 at 10:25 am said:

    Effluciens are still obsessing over Edwards’ quitting the race and seeing a conspiracy:
    ———————————————————————————
    CB, on April 12th, 2009 at 9:29 pm Said:

    Has anyone figured out when Axelrod knew about Edwards’ affair? Before
    West Virginia, but probably known when Michigan was an issue. Edwards’ siding with Obama to go after Hillary would have been another good chess move
    for Axelrod.
    Reply

    *
    myiq2xu, on April 12th, 2009 at 10:08 pm Said:

    A man having an affair is the worst keep secret there is.

    Everyone around him (including his wife) know about it as soon as he starts plotting.
    Reply
    *
    bostonboomer, on April 12th, 2009 at 11:09 pm Said:

    I don’t know when Axelrod found out about the affair, but the only reason I can think of why John Edwards quit before Super Tuesday is because someone informed him that if he didn’t quit, the affair would be revealed.

  12. Kerry Reid, on April 13, 2009 at 5:11 pm said:

    Yes. Edwards couldn’t possibly have dropped out because he hadn’t won in Iowa or New Hamsphire and was running out of money.

    BostonBraindead is so insightful. Nothing gets past the PUMAs. Aside from everything consisting of matter, that is.

  13. Sean M, on April 14, 2009 at 8:13 am said:

    I know it was Easter nd all that, but first Flowbee has an epiphany and congratulates President Obama, in his usual nod to racist way. (I had some fun with a bigotbot there in some of my posts they let through)

    Now even the effluence is doing it.

    Tuesday: Franken wins. Finally. Sort of.

    Maybe Riverchuckee wants some Ameros from The Office of Trivial Online Affairs.

  14. NOT_a_fan_of_puma, on April 22, 2009 at 1:48 pm said:

    HQ thanks you for your continued efforts in this fight!

    Please check in form time to time at the Death Star for updates from HQ http://www.politijab.com and submit plans there via secure network regarding ongoing covert ops. Also don’t forget to put in for your banning bonuses, HQ has recently increased the bonus amounts for each IP that you have banned from various PUMA/birther sites!

    Carry on…

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