The Puma What!? part 3

magicmicrophone

Welcome to part three of an ongoing series about puma failure, past present and future.

A main stream radio program?  Didn’t they try this already?

Goofsmom

Getting our Puma voices heard. This is a long term goal. Finding a Puma that can handle a radio show, that will be picked up and broadcast on regular radio as well as internet radio. This Puma will formulate a plan to make our Puma goals politically paletable to general listening audience. This will help grow our ranks, by raising the number of women who are pumas and don’t know it. We will supply information that is specific to womens issues and political reform. We have (Goofsdad and I) an internet radio network. That is the starting point. Getting the network picked up on regular radio is next. Having the Puma based program picked up for regular radio listening market is the main goal. This is a long term goal, as we have quite a lot of ground to cover to achieve equality among the sexes. Goofsdad is encouraging and supportive of this goal. Still working on more specific details…

For those of you who never heard their last attempt at mainstream radio, it was comedy gold!

15 Responses

  1. Ah yes, those women who are “PUMAs and don’t know it.” Kinda like Nijma and her insistence that she just KNEW there were women here with “secret PUMA leanings.” And of course, we can only be brought into the light with the awesomeness of that special brand of PUMA crazy.

    How’s that working out for them, again?

  2. Thank you Kerry, that fucking line caught my eye as well. I get daily emails and updates from three women-centered interests here in my local area. Not once, in fact never, have I gotten anything that seems to even smell like the shit these clowns pass off as supposedly helping women.

    To the contrary, the updates and info I receive are directly related to women’s issues, from economics to safety to family support groups. I can’t imagine any woman with whom I am friends with or I consider to be a rational, thoughtful and productive member of society reacting to anything these assclowns send out in any other way than — who the fuck are these people and how did they get my email address?

  3. Kerry– One of the more amusing PUMA-fantasies is that by calling us subservient cocksuckers and telling us to fuck off and do something productive (like prowls and bitching to other bitter dead-enders), we’ll somehow see the light and become part of the Wonderful world of PUMA.

    Hah, as if.

  4. Humboldt, I just made a small donation to a women’s shelter tonight, and tomorow I’m doing an article on a women’s theater festival for a local performing arts trade paper. I will also be participating in a panel on women in theater and criticism as part of the festival. And oh yeah — I didn’t vote for an avowed anti-feminist ticket in the general election!That last qualification right there makes me far more in tune with women’s issues than the Weak Sisters in PUMALand will ever be.

    Nikki: This is PUMA being Rovian and ascribing to us the weakness they themselves have in spades. Since in fact most of those women are easily cowed by language (witness their ongoing fights with each other and all the “You said something mean to me so I’m taking my crazy and going home!” threats, their need for moderation and “protection” from big bad mainstream media, et al), they assume that a few tired insults (“Obot” — gee, that hurts!) will work with us, too.

    Also: did I mention “crazy?’ Because they are!

  5. Kerry –

    Please make your article on the women’s theatre festival available to all of us, if you can.

  6. Will do. Meantime, here’s a link to the Goodman Theatre web site with some of the associated events, for any Chicago folk who are interested: http://www.goodmantheatre.org/News/Events.aspx

  7. Also, I have to say that the whole “Hey kids! Let’s put on a radio show!” aspect of PUMA World would be kinda cute, were it not for the seething pointless rage of the participants.

  8. “Also, I have to say that the whole “Hey kids! Let’s put on a radio show!” aspect of PUMA World would be kinda cute, were it not for the seething pointless rage of the participants.”

    I remember seeing Spiderwoman Theatre perform some atrocious piece at La MaMa that could very well have been a template for the sort of thing a PUMA theatre group might try. I saw it, I think, in 1986.

  9. The worst thing I ever saw was a play called “Freedom Ain’t No Bowl of Cherries”. The illustration department at my school was riddled with members of a psychology cult called the Sullivanians, and this was their production. We were required to go and then illustrate the results.

    The Sullivanians’ professed leanings were no less left than mine, but their self-righteousness, humorlessness and cluelessness were pure PUMA.

    I still remember one of the lyrics, which does say something for the lyricist:

    “BOYS FROM BECHTEL,
    BATS OUT OF HELL,
    BLOOD-SUCKING DOLLAR SIGN DEVILS!”

    There were plenty of academics with advanced degrees in the cast, and it seemed the more advanced, the more that person had actually longed to appear onstage in drag, singing in cracked falsetto.

    Another number had a single guitarist sitting on a stool in front of a USA map with circles, triangles, and squares on it. The guitarist, or guitariste, since he was a sixtyish quantum mechanics specialist in fishnets, would pluck a string on the guitar, koto-style. Then he would sing, “This is a blue triangle. It represents a nuclear waste dump.”
    Plink!
    “This is a red circle. it is a nuclear reactor.”
    Plink!
    It went on for about five minutes. My friend Norah was trying not to scream with laughter, and left bruises on my arm.

    The Pumas are looking awfully Sullivanian.

  10. Good Lord, I just googled the Sullivanians, and whose name came up? Amy Siskind. If she is the same Amy Siskind, she had a hellish childhood: her parents were Sullivanians, and she grew up within the cult, which eventually imploded. She became a sociologist, and wrote a book about the cult. A review: http://www.danielshawlcsw.com/madness_evil.htm

    There was a very nice, sad little woman who taught at my school, and she was on the verge of forming friendships with some of her students, when she disappeared. Now I know why.

  11. We were required to go and then illustrate the results.

    PLEASE tell me you still have the sketches!

  12. Brad, your Spiderwomen experience (did I ever see them? I can’t remember) encapsulates all my fears about what it might be like to go to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. I’m sure it’s wonderful for many. But aside from the fact that I hate camping (I also will never go to Burning Man — I’m a city girl, so sue me!), being around that much aggrieved estrogen in a performance setting would be too much like work.

    Also, I’ve never understood the philosophy of taking down patriarchy by switching out vowels. Of course, “y” is the switch hitter of the alphabet.

  13. WTF is that thing in the picture? A dildo with a built-in 4-function calculator?

  14. YAFB, no, but I can recreate them. I’ll give the Fourth Wall theater (oh, excuse me! theatre. ;o) this: I remember it vividly.

  15. We have (Goofsdad and I) an internet radio network. That is the starting point. Getting the network picked up on regular radio is next. Having the Puma based program picked up for regular radio listening market is the main goal.

    It’s the Underpants Gnomes!

    1. Start an internet radio network.
    2. ??
    3. Profit!

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