I’ve been thinking on and off for a while about hot to monetize the irrational behavior of PUMAs, and I think I’ve found it. Solid gold idea this is. I have to thank Madamab and Glenn Beck for the inspiration, but of course I’m not going to let hem in on the deal. It works like this. PUMAs and Beck-tards (somewhat overlapping groups) are very afraid of these FEMA reeducation camps. Madamab wrote the following, without any sense of sarcasm, just the other day.
In two years, I might be in a FEMA concentration camp. I might be dead from another terrorist attack on New York. I might be jobless, homeless and starving.
This got me thinking. If the idea of her being rounded up by Obots and put in a concentration camp is distressing her, I would gladly ease her mind, for a small fee.
I am hereby offering FEMA Concentration Camp Insurance to PUMAs and Beck-tards. For the low price of $19.95 I will offer a policy that pays out $1 Million in the event of the holder being rounded up and put in a FEMA concentration camp. Think about that PUMAs. Sure, you’re eating gruel and watching Obama reeducation videos 23 hours a day in “stress positions,” but you’ll be a millionaire! If you’re actually concerned about this prospect, I think $19.95 for 8 years of FEMA Concentration Camp Insurance is a great deal.
For less than the price of dinner and a movie with your significant other (housecat) you can have the peace of mind that if you’re ever incarcerated by Obots, your family will be financially provided for. It would be irresponsible to not purchase this insurance.
If you act now, I’ll offer 6 months interest free payments on financing plans to accommodate strained PUMA budgets. If you finance $19.95 over 3 years, interest free for 6 months, you’ll be able to afford the insurance with the money you earn recycling cat food cans.
I’m deadly serious about this. Glenn Beck has 2 million viewers. PUMAs are 18 million strong. That’s potentially a $40 million market that I’m the first to tap into.
(And if they’re all rounded up though, I’ll be on the hook for about $20 trillion dollars. I’ll probably need a bailout, but I’m willing to let the taxpayers assume that risk.)
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